The Fault in Our StarKids
by firebolt2398
Summary: The New Directions is swept up by the Team Starkid craze and convinces Mr. Schue to let them do Starkid music for this week's assignment. This is a Glee/Starkid crossover script, taking place between Sectionals and Regionals of Season 3. Also written by TheRealJackster. Rated T for language and the mild innuendo that takes place during Glee.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own any Glee characters or StarKid music. The title is taken from John Green's "The Fault in Our Stars". It was just too perfect to pass up :) Credit to TheRealJackster for writing this with me. We'll try our best to update every week.**

Fade in:

INT. ND CHOIR ROOM DAY

MR. SCHUESTER enters the bright and crowded choir room to find the glee clubbers engaged in non-musical activities.

ARTIE is surrounded by TINA, MERCEDES, and SAM as he holds up his iPhone. They laugh at something on the screen. KURT checks out his new blue headband in a mirror, and BLAINE and MIKE go over some strange new dance steps. BRITANNY, SANTANA and QUINN are also laughing at a screen, SUGAR and RORY split some Red Vines, and FINN is laughing at PUCK's brand new hot pink sunglasses.

RACHEL rushes up to Mr. Schue.

RACHEL

Hi, Mr. Schue! I just found the most amazing sheet music and I wanted to teach it to Brad, but he's not here, so I've been going over with my dads.

MR. SCHUE

Great...

He wanders over to Blaine and Mike to hear them talking.

BLAINE

So, it's "I take my foot" and then, what, four taps or three?

MIKE

Four, I think.

Mr. Schue looks confused and heads to the center of the room.

MR. SCHUE

Okay, guys, listen up!

The club pays him no mind and continues.

MR. SCHUE

Guys, come on!

The club continues to chatter.

MR. SCHUE

GUYS!

The all finally stop and see him, then slink back to their seats.

MR. SCHUE

What is going on here?

ARTIE

Sorry Mr. Schue, but it's this musical that went viral on YouTube, and it's the funniest thing.

TINA

It's called "A Very Potter Musical" and it's just so great. This theatre group called Team StarKid did it, and they've done a whole bunch since.

MR. SCHUE

Team StarKid?

FINN

And they do some really great music. It's catchy, and they're all really talented too. They're like, a glee club that writes their own stuff.

RACHEL

Mr. Schue, can we please do StarKid music as this week's assignment? Please?

The whole glee club murmers and nods.

MR. SCHUE

I've gotta admit, it's been awhile since I've seen you all this enthusiastic about something. So, this week's assigment? Find and perform a song from a Team StarKid musical.

The glee club whoops in approval.

MR. SCHUE

Alright, alright, settle down. Now, in the meantime, anyone know where we can find a substitute pianist?

ZOOM IN:

The empty piano bench...


	2. Stutter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Starkid music, Glee characters, and the title was inspired by John Green's "The Fault in our Stars".**

**A/N Hey guys! I know we're a week late, and we only left you with one chapter. D: Sorry, tech week and midterms and so on and so forth. However we got some cool stuff planned, so stick around! Oh, and since there's two of us working on it, when I write an author's note, I'll be Padfoot, and my friend is just TheRealJackster. Just to keep things easy. Enjoy!~ Padfoot**

INT. CAFETERIA NEXT DAY

A quick pan of the cafeteria revals other McKinley High STUDENTS laughing at their phones and snatches of Starkid music, ("Days of Summer", "Dynamic Duet","Beauty") are heard all over. The ND members are clustered at one table.

BLAINE

So it looks like everyone else is in love with Starkid too, huh?

RORY

It's everywhere. I can't walk down the hallway without hearing people hum "Back to the Hogwarts".

TINA

Who'd have thought that something would become so famous so fast?

MERCEDES

Yeah, why can't that happen to us?

Rachel sits down at the head of the table and listens to the conversation before chiming in.

RACHEL

Guys, can't you see why they're so popular?

BRITTANY

They're supermegafoxyawesomehot?

QUINN

Dylan Saunders has a voice like chocolate?

KURT

The simplicity of the shows and the overall lack of theatrical production appeals to the uncultured masses?

RACHEL

(shaking her head)

No! They're fun. You don't need anything but a good sense of humor to enjoy them. And... this could be our chance!

PUCK

To do what?

RACHEL

To be just as cool as they are! Everyone loves them, so why not "appeal to the uncultured masses" and become Team Gleekid! When we answer their call, they love us.

KURT

She has a point. Remember Britney week? Ke$ha? (gulp) "Push It"?

MERCEDES

Yeah, they were all over us then. So why not do it now?

She gestures to some BAND MEMBERS at another table who quickly pick up their instruments. Mercedes jumps up on the table and launches into Darren Criss's "Stutter"

MERCEDES

_Remember that time?/When you wouldn't talk to me?/No you wouldn't talk to me/yesterday./We were gettin' along!/We had that little dance-y thing!/Well here's a song I sing my way,/It was gonna be fine./But you didn't wanna be, be the man who'd be with me-/no way./But now you sayin' it's time- Why you gotta be like that? I don't/I like the way you act 'round me._

Santana stands and joins her.

SANTANA

_So baby come on, come on.../Oh don't you tell me to go,/and say "I'm the one,"/d-d-do you think I'm dumb?/Sorry- did I just stutter?/ Won't tell you what you know, but this is the end.../You were never my friend, you were never my-_

SANTANA/MERCEDES

_You were never my lover!_

MERCEDES

_Remember that night?/When I saw you tremblin' there?/I remember; I don't care-/'bout you./I'm rememberin' how/you thought you were at the top,/well I think we're better off without you!_

SANTANA

_And I got your number-/and I don't mean in my phone;/would've already just thrown it out,/if I'd known about the way you'd bitch and moan,/You remember that way-/how you were way outta line?/Well now you're way outta time!/So tell me what you want on your tombstone!/Come on, come on..._

The rest of New Directions spreads out and sings.

NEW DIRECTIONS

_Well don't you tell me to go,/and say "I'm the one,"/we're dur-dur-dur done!/'Scuse me, did I just stutter?/Won't tell you what you know, but this is the end.../You were never my friend, you were never my- you were never my lover!_

SANTANA

_It's too bad you a loser./Too bad you waste my time._

MERCEDES

_Good thing that I'm around/to keep your ass in line!_

SANTANA/MERCEDES

_You were never my- you were never my lover!_

They all stop and strike a pose. Dead silence all around- then a burst of applause. The glee club looks relieved and ecstatic.

RACHEL

I told you. Team Gleekid!

CUT TO:

INT. ND CHOIR ROOM Later

The New Directions, brighter than usual, are chatting amicably when Mr. Schue walks in.

MR. SCHUE

Hey guys! Great job in the cafeteria today. I was really impressed!

FINN

It was cool, Mr. Schue! It was kinda awesome not being slushied after performing.

MR. SCHUE

I bet it is! Anyway, I just called Principal Figgins, and it turns out Brad is sick. So I found a temporary relplacement for the week. Let's give a warm welcome too.. A.J.!

A.J. HOLMES, original pianist for Team Starkid, walks in bright and smiling. The New Directions give a smattering of applause, but otherwise appear disinterested. A.J. waves happily, then sits down at the piano.

MR. SCHUE

Okay then... Who's up next?

**A/N Surprise, surprise! An actual Starkid? Will New Directions discover his identity in time? Will the glee club finally be popular? Will Blaine ever stop using hair gel? Looks like we'll have to wait and see...  
Oh! Feel free to leave reviews. We'd love to hear from you guys!~Padfoot**

**Hey yo! Hope you enjoyed this week's chapter! like my buddy Padfoot said, please make sure to review! We'd love to hear your comments and suggestions! ~TheRealJackster**


	3. The Coolest Girl

**Disclaimer: I really don't anything at all. Just the plot.**

**A/N Hey guys! Padfoot here. I felt bad for updating last chapter a week late, so this chapter is a day early! Yay! I had a lot of fun writing this, because I love writing for Brittany. She's just so much fun! Wow, I'm using a lot of exclamation points... Anyway, hope you enjoy! ~Padfoot**

**Hey friends! I'm so happy you like it so far. Keep reading it and keep loving it! Don't forget to leave a review, because we LOVE your support. Thanks! ~TheRealJackster**

INT. SANTANA'S ROOM NIGHT

Santana and Brittany are over at Santana's house. Brittany, being herself, is playing with random items in the background while Santana stares angrily at her computer.

BRITTANY

...And then Lord Tubbington said the funniest thing. He was all, "Britney, I just robbed a grocery store, you gotta hide me". And I was like, "I didn't know cops played hide and seek!" I mean, did you?

SANTANA

That's great Britt, but we have more serious problem. Look what people have been posting on our Wall.

She shows Brittney the computer, where messages like "LoserTown aka GLEE CLUB!" and "Are you so desparate you'd go out with Berry?" are splashed all over the place.

BRITTANY

Wow. (beat) I could have them deported. I have that power as President. I think.

SANTANA

No. But nice try sweetie. It looks like ever since I've been nice to Berry our popularity has dropped to an all-time low. Do you know what this means?

BRITTANY

Lord Tubbington will get over his smoking habit?

SANTANA

(Beat)Uh, no. We need to fix this. Now how would Snicks handle this...

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY NEXT DAY

Rachel is cheerfully skipping along, clutching her fuzzy notebook when Santana blocks her path suddenly.

RACHEL

Hey Santana! I was wondering-

SANTANA

Shut it, Berry. (Turning to Brittany) Start the video.

BRITTANY

Which button?

SANTANA

Ugh, the big red one! (Back to Rachel) Alright, Bird-Nose, let's getone thing straight. We are NOT friends-

RACHEL

But-

SANTANA

You are an annoying, self-centered toddler, and you were never as talented as you think you are. Am I clear?

RACHEL

No, I'm actually really confused...

SANTANA

Maybe this will help.

She grabs a slushie from a kid walking by and thrusts it at Rachel. Rachel is immediately covered green frozen ice. Santana looks regretful for a second, but snaps out of it.

SANTANA

Come on Britt.

She walks away and Brittany turns to Rachel.

BRITTANY

(Scrutinizing)

Green's not your color.

She flounces off after Santana. Rachel is left standing in the middle of the hallway, utterly betrayed and bewildered. Finn rushes up to her.

FINN

Rachel, what the hell just happened? Did Santana just do this?

RACHEL

Yes. (Beat) But it's okay.

FINN

What? Why? Rachel, she made you look like the Philly Fanatic!

RACHEL

I know. But Starkid has helped me move beyond such petty fighting. They can put me down, but I know the real truth.

Rachel lifts her head and strides down the hallway.

FINN

Uh, Rachel, don't you want to clean up..

INT. ND CHOIR ROOM DAY CONTINUOUS

Rachel, now clean, stands in the center of the room as she begins "The Coolest Girl".

RACHEL

_All my dreams/I'm chasing after,/They don't need all this laughter.../I take a grain of salt,/stiff upper lip./It's not their fault/I'm not as hip./Wake up kid,/you know you're more than this.../I'm the smartest person that I've ever met./So why do I allow myself to possibly forget/There's so much I know how to do,/so much more than all of you./The only thing I wish I knew/was how to make them see/the girl that I can be.../I am/the coolest girl in the whole wide world/I know it but can't show it at all._

The camera zooms on Santana's guilty face.

RACHEL

_I am/sick and tired of low, not higher/places, where I should , it's about time I proved them wrong.../So give me a shot to show what I've got!/I'm a helluva whole lot more/than this frizzy hair,/these frumpy clothes I wear/though I rock 'em like nobody you've seen before/'Cause I am/the coolest girl in the whole wide world/I know it below it all./I am/ done with losin',/on with choosin'_

The glee club's various reactions: Brittany's stricken, Finn's proud, Kurt swayong with the music etc.

Rachel enters diva mode.

RACHEL

_The coolest girl on the face of the planet,/The coolest bitch on earth, goddammit!/The coolest chick you've ever seen or heard!/So you can try to bring me down,/but sorry guys, I'm stickin' around!/I've thought about it, and I've found/That I am The coolest girl!/... Yeah!_

The glee club bursts into applause. Santana looks in the other direction.

MR. SCHUE

Awesome Rachel! Great job!

RACHEL

Thank you. And I'd like to thank Santana for inspiring me for my song selection.

The glee club hushes.

MR. SCHUE

Well... Until next time?

The club proceeds to leave. A.J. plays a small portion of "Granger Danger" on the piano. Kurt and Blaine exchange curious glances, but move on.

**A/N Oh, Santana is evil! Actually, she's one of my favorite characters, so, yeah. It looks like the glee club is getting suspicious of A.J. Are they on to him? Or are they as clueless as ever? Let us know what you think! We have some awesome ideas, but if you have any suggestions about what to happen next, let us know in the reviews! Love y'all! ~Padfoot**


	4. It's Not Over Yet

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Glee or Starkid. Whoops.**

_A/N: HEY GUYS! Ugh, I feel like a terrible person because we haven't updated this in ages. However! TheRealJackster and I have a whole plan finally, so we should update so much faster than before. Really, you guys are so good for waiting. Feel free to unleash your rage at us in the reviews. And leave suggestions if you'd like too! LOVE YOU ALL- Padfoot_

_Hay guys :) I just want to say that I love you all and I'm sorry we haven't updated in a while but I've been in a show and you're all beautiful and I love you. Okay bye!-The Real Jackster_

INT. DALTON ACADEMY DAY

Blaine tiptoes through the highly polished hallways, his cell phone close to his ear.

BLAINE: Remind me again why I have to be the one to spy on the Warblers?

PUCK: (Filtered) Because if you get caught, they won't think you're up to something. You're one of them.

BLAINE: I was one of them. I'm one of you now.

PUCK: (filtered) Whatever. Just figure out what they're doing.

Blaine rolls his eyes and continues to sneak around the school. He eventually ends up in front of the big oak doors that lead to the Warbler Common Room. The doors are slightly open, and Blaine peeks inside.

Various WARBLERS are spread out around the nicely decorated room. One Warbler, TRENT looks slightly uncomfortable. He keeps glancing nervously at the Warbler in the front of the room, his back turned to everyone. Finally, he spins around to reveal he is SEBASTIAN. Hie eyes are cold and a malicious smile plays around his lips.

SEBASTIAN: Okay, Warblers. We've been beaten for far too long. It's time for the Warblers reign to begin. That's why you elected me as your captain, right?

The Warblers nod.

SEBASTIAN: Exactly. Now, the only way we're going to win is if we destroy, not beat, destroy the New Directions. I don't care what it takes; blackmail, subterfuge, even some unfortunate accidents.

Trent stands up shocked.

TRENT: Sebastian, you can't do that! If we're going to win, we have to play fair.

SEBASTIAN: _Don't ever tell me what I can't do/ I'd watch my tongue if I were you/ For all we know/ Blaine Anderson could be watching us._

TRENT: He can't be! He left!

SEBASTIAN: _That never stopped our plans before/ You've no idea what I have in store/ You really think that you'd be at my door/ If we had nothing to discuss/ He may be gone but that is just well/ So come inside, and don't you fret/ 'Cause it's not over yet._

The Warblers begin to march sinisterly around the room, continuing Starkid's "Not Over Yet" in their typical a cappella fashion.

WARBLERS: _Evil plans/ We are making evil plans/ Evil deeds with evil hands/ We love making evil plans._

SEBASTIAN: We will crush the New Directions morale before they even have the chance to come up with a setlist! How can they win now if their eternal optimism has been trampled?_ Friends of companion of evil and sin/ Think not of loss but a new way to win/ For what is present without a beginning to start it all/ The plan is simple, I propose/ That we choke the weed before it grows/ Up and ends us all/ Do you follow me?/ So it's not over yet._

WARBLERS:_ Evil plans/ What a brilliant evil plan/ Sebastian you're an evil man/ We love making evil plans!_

ALL (Save Trent): _Our history is nothing more/ Than what the losers settle for._

SEBASTIAN: _So look alive/ and don't forget._

ALL (Save Trent): _That it's not over/ It's not over/ No, it's not over yet!_

Sebastian unleashes an evil laugh as Blaine stares in horror. He whispers into the phone.

BLAINE: Puck? We've got a problem.

_A/N Can you guys guess what musical number is coming up in the future? Oh it feels so good to have this up again! Okay, feel free to review/be angry/leave love/give ideas/have sing-alongs/be happy. See you soon!_


End file.
